observations from hosting Tea with Strangers

number of participants sets the vibe

• 1 person (plus the host) is direct and focused. There's no where to divert attention or take a break
• 2 people (plus the host) is my ideal group size -- small enough to feel intimate, and small enough to prevent splitting conversations; large enough to allow breaks for participants
• 3 people (plus the host) is the first group size where splitting the conversation is feasible. I find concurrent conversations distracting.

My first goal as host (usually stated explicitly at some point during the interaction) is to identify harm and address it directly. That includes both the person doing harm (intentional or unintentional) and the person being harmed.

While that criterion is necessary, it is not sufficient for me to feel I am getting value. I want to feel connection with the participants. I have a bag of tricks for building intimacy, but I feel it could be imposing (given my position of power and responsibility) on attendees to use it.